


49. Safeword?

by alley_oops, jennandanica



Series: Citadel: Sam Worthington and Ryan Kwanten [49]
Category: Actor RPF, Australian Actor RPF, Citadel (Journalfen RPG), True Blood RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-11-03
Updated: 2008-11-03
Packaged: 2018-01-15 08:23:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1298065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alley_oops/pseuds/alley_oops, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennandanica/pseuds/jennandanica





	49. Safeword?

_**Sam Worthington and Ryan Kwanten: Safeword?**_  
[occurs as a result of [these reflections](http://www.journalfen.net/users/kwanten/11453.html) and the [preceding scene](http://www.journalfen.net/users/sam_worthington/6164.html)]

"Try it with the ginger sauce," Ryan coaxes, pushing the bowl of brown sauce a little closer to Sam's plate of red snapper. _Raw_ red snapper. Maybe he shouldn't challenge his lover's culinary preferences the way he does. But he lights up when he sees that look come over Sam's face, a look of surprised pleasure that, hey, this isn't that bad after all. Ryan pours them each another shot of heated sake, hoping it'll help.

Sam dips his forkful of fish into the sauce and takes a tentative bite. "It's good," he says after a moment, even though it's definitely not one of his favourites and he needs a sip of sake to wash it down.

Ryan smiles adoringly, pleased to no end that Sam even tries. "I love you," he says seriously, kissing Sam's forehead as he gets up. "I'll make you a sandwich."

Sam ducks his head a little. "Thanks," he says, well aware his lover spoils him. "Sorry. It was good. It just--" he shudders a little and takes another sip of sake. "Wasn't my taste."

"Better cooked?" Ryan asks over his shoulder, grinning as he pulls meat and cheese from the refrigerator. He piles a sandwich hand-high on fresh rye bread, pausing to lick a smudge of mustard from his fingertip. And he grabs Sam a cold beer. "Thanks for trying it. That's all I ask. I mean, not _all_ I ask," he says, setting the plate down in front of Sam. "But I'm pretty demanding that way."

"So I've noticed," Sam says with a grin, digging happily into his sandwich.

"Yeah, yeah. You love it." Ryan dips a bite of his own fish in ginger sauce, delighting in the subtle complexities of flavour. "Um. Speaking of demands," he says after a moment, and takes a sip of sake to gear himself up.

"Yeah?" Sam looks up, wiping mustard from the corner of his mouth with his napkin.

"I, um." Ryan swallows hard, then shoves the words out in a rush. "I want to give you my safeword."

To say Sam's taken aback would be an understatement. "Why?" he asks, sitting back in his chair.

"Because... because I suck with it?" Ryan shrugs, then recalls how much Sam _hated_ it the last time. "I'm not, I mean, I'm not taking this lightly. I've been thinking about it a lot. A whole lot," he clarifies, his dinner forgotten now. "First, I didn't safeword when I should have, and I wrecked the scene," he explains, flushing with remembered shame and self-directed anger. "Then, I _did_ safeword when you didn't want me to, and I wrecked the scene again. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. But I trust you to take care of me."

Sam exhales softly, wrapping his fingers around his beer, thumb sliding through the condensation. "You didn't 'wreck' either scene," he says after a moment. "And I shouldn't have reacted like I did with the spanking." He pauses, thinking. "You also safeworded the time I was biting your cock and that was fine, we moved on from there."

"Ohhh, yeah," Ryan murmurs, a far-away look in his eye. He shivers at the thought of Sam biting him that way again. "About that... I mean, no," he shakes his head, forcing himself back on track. "But you know me. You know when I need you to stop and when I don't really. I trust you to push me just the right amount."

"And what if I don't?" Sam asks, laying it all on the line, because really, he's not above admitting that the thought of taking Ryan's safeword scares the fucking shit out of him. "What if I fuck up and push you too far?"

It would be too easy to blow off Sam's fears and simply reassure him. Ryan chews on his bottom lip, thinking. "Are you really worried that you might?"

Fuck. Sam takes a long drink of his beer. "It's a possibility," he says finally, as much as it pains him to admit it. "What with the way we play and the things we haven't even tried yet."

"...Okay." Ryan lays his hand on Sam's knee, just needing to touch. "We don't have to. But... maybe you'll think about it?" he asks. "You know, for the future. Maybe." The last thing he wants to do is put pressure on his lover.

Sam nods, letting go of his beer and placing his hand over Ryan’s. "Yeah, of course. I'll think about it," he says. "But you still didn't answer me. What happens if I push too far? Like if I'd gone ahead and fucked you with that wine bottle when you weren't ready for it."

"I don't know. I would've cried, probably. Woken up the next morning sore as fuck. And been fine." Ryan links his fingers with Sam's. "I know I'm out of practice, but I've been pushed pretty hard in the past. I just need to get back into it."

Sam nods. "So, you're confident we could work through it if I _did_ fuck up?"

"Yeah, absolutely." Now Ryan raises Sam's hand to his lips. "We can work through anything," he says, completely confident in Sam. In Sam and himself together, joined.

"Okay." Sam smiles at the kiss. "Let me think about it. I just - I don't want to rush into anything." And he needs to give it at least as much thought as Ryan has.

Relieved, Ryan smiles. "Okay. Thank you." He feels better just for having asked.  



End file.
